N.A.B.

So I've been sort of seeing this dude recently. It's been pretty great, but also awkward in the way that only I can make things awkward. I've noticed that I have become quite skittish at any mention of commitment or seriousness and that my skittishness then leads to extreme Hales-speak, which is where whatever comes into my head immediately escapes through my mouth before I have time to decide whether or not what I am about to say is stupid, rude, or extremely offensive (and it's usually one of those, if not all three).

For example, a few months ago we had that inherently weird and painful discussion about condoms: to use or not to use? After getting all of the horrible "When were you last tested-how many partners since then-what kind of birth control are you using" bullet points out of the way, I wanted to make it clear that I'm not at a point in my life where bangin multiple people is cool. So instead of just saying that, I sort of just blurted out "Well are you sleeping with other girls? I mean if you are it's okay I don't even care at all you're an adult and you can do what you want I mean if you like me or whatever maybe you'll only sleep with me but either way just tell me so I don't catch some disease at the age of 26!!" He just looked at me and blinked, but before he blinked I caught that 'Wow this chick is a little loony' look in his eye. He then calmly said: "Um, no...definitely not sleeping around, so...there's that..."

Having gotten the sex talk out of the way, things continued on just swimmingly with only minor hiccups, caused by me, always when I caught any whiff of a transition from dating into...well, you know (I don't like that word, don't make me say it). When my neighbor introduced herself to Not-a-boyfriend (as my friend RA has aptly titled him) she said "Oh hey, you must be the new boyfriend!" I immediately began muttering "Oh...yeah, you know we're um, I mean dating...or whatever.... " before I quickly cracked open another beer to drink during the awkward silence I'd just caused.

The other night we finally had that weird talk about whether or not we're seeing other people. A few hours after Not-a-boyfriend inquired as to how I would feel "You know, not dating other people. Besides me." and got the answer he had been looking for, I suddenly panicked and felt the need to ask him "If you're my....well, you know, I don't really like saying that word, exactly. Ever." His response was that although he had been "out of the game" for a good 8 years or so, that was generally what he took "not dating other people" to mean. I guess it was sort of a stupid question.

Am I abnormally awkward or is this just the way dating is supposed to be? Because we're a solid three months in and I still act REAL spesh around this dude. I can definitely see the perks of arranged marriages.